there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize