That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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