meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize