The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
