I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
