Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
