Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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