do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
