Well douche your snatch and let's go!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
