I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
