I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
