I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
