you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
