She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
