What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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