P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
