White coat. Heels.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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