ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
