Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
