After last night, I could never be a politician.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
