The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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