operation have a gay friend backfired
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
