This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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