pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
