Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
