did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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