I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
