i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mom said you looked used
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
