$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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