There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
