Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize