Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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