So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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