how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
