Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
