I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Say something about gay babies.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
