The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
