Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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