I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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