His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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