Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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