Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
