We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
