YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
