Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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