Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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