So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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