thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Randomize
