pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Enjoy the penises
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
