You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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