my phone needs a breathalizer
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
