Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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