god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
