i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
