you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize