I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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