I need help removing her.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
