R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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