at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
