I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
