Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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