I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
