you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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