I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize