Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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